For those who are facing life…

 

The loses…

I'm from Chicago, IL/Gary, IN/ Indianapolis, IN, and currently living in Florida and loving it. So many sunshine days, it is quite lovely. Although I remember times when life was not so lovely…

My parents separated when I was nine years old, a few years after my only sibling, my brother, came back to live us after being in a foster home. At the time, I did not understand everything that was going on, I just knew that I was being left… from that moment on, the devil, and the enemy of my soul began to attack me with feelings of abandonment!

My dad went away, but I still had my mother, brother, and my granny… life was tough because I've always like to be the center of attention, and the person who always showed me so much attention was no longer going to be a consistent part of my life.

When I was 12, my granny passed away. She was my best friend, had once been my roommate, and is someone who I loved dearly, she loved me just the way I was. When "friends" did not want to play with me, I always had my granny who would spend time with me. This was the 1^st traumatic experience in my life. It was even more so because I had no one to help me process what was happening. In my 12 year old mind, I had been abandoned by my dad, and now my best friend. Because my mother did not know how to process her pain of losing her mother, she surly did not know how to help me…

About 2 years later, my brother went away to Job Corp, and then to the Military. By this time I was 13 and getting ready to turn 14. In my undeveloped mind, I just could not understand why everyone was leaving me… no matter where they went or why, they were leaving me…

So I decided that I was going to leave too. I would go be with my granny, for I was told that when you die, that's where you go, you go to heaven. So I figured that was the perfect place for me, then, no one else could leave me. I attempted to commit suicide, writing a letter to God asking Him to forgive me, and please let me in to be with Him and my granny.

Obviously, that did not work, praise God!

 

So many other things happened in my life between the age of 13 and 15, I would not have the time to write it all out, but at the age of 16, I ended up in a foster home. Taken away from everyone that I knew, friends and family, I was placed into a home with a single mom of her own 3 children. My foster mom loved me, but she did not love me the way that she loved her own children, and she showed it, knowingly or not. It hurt me because I felt that no one wanted me, that I was insignificant and unworthy of anyone's love. I was so in the dark about how truly loved I was and am!

 

I had gone to church as a child, and always wanted to know about God, but I did not KNOW Him. I knew of Him. I knew Him as the punisher, making my life horrible because of the bad things that I had done as a child. I knew that you had to be good to make it to Heaven and that no matter how hard I tried; I could not be good all of the time. I felt that my life was doomed. I was doomed to fail, and doomed to be alone. I knew that everyone I loved had left me and so if I really loved God, He would leave me too.

 

Those feelings of the ones I have loved leaving continued throughout most of my life. I had and at times still have a hard time having friends. Because I have been through so much, I don't have time to play games, and so I am real. I have found that most people don't like real people… This was so confusing! When people got/ get to know me, guess what, they still leave. Now it hurts less, but it still hurts. It takes time for any wound to heal, and with that, healing can hurt. Never the less, I've learned to ask the Savior to help me! Confusion is not of God!

 

The trick of the Enemy

See this is what the enemy of your soul will do. If you let him, he will confuse you and make you feel unloved so that you will not only hate yourself, but you will not be able to receive love from God and others.

Many people have tough lives, things happen. I am surely not the only person who has had to run through a house being riddled with bullets, in fact, when I did, two others were with me. We survived! I spent my life wondering why I had to go through those types of things as a child, before I could even understand sinning and opening a door to the enemy, I was being attacked. In my years of wondering why, I finally heard Pastor Paula say one day, "Why did you survive?" That was profound for me!

That was a good question because I had no idea. My answer at that time was that I lived to suffer… self inflicted of not, I was doomed to suffer… WHAT a LIE! I was so confused and broken.

 

Why survive??

So know I ask you, how did you survive?

The reason is because God has kept you. If you believe it or not, that's how you survived!

 

Now I ask you, why did you survive?

It has to do with purpose.

Solomon said that there is nothing new under the sun, so guess what, whatever it is that you have gone though, you are not the only one. I know that it is hard to believe, and maybe even something that you don't want to hear depending on where you are right now, never the less, it is the truth. God created you, and inside of you, there is purpose, His purpose for your life. Each on reach one is my purpose. Because of the things I've gone through, I can reach those who some others cannot. My hard knock life has given me relatability.

 

 

Can you relate?

 

I survived because God has a plan and purpose for my life! Just like you! I survived so that I can help someone else survive. I survived so that I can relate to someone else has gone through the foster care system, someone who has had a parent on drugs, has been affected by divorce, living in the projects, and wanting to be loved when everyone has left you.

I can relate to being alone and treated second class, having a parent in jail, dealing with teachers and the people who should be supporting and encouraging you and telling to you shoot for the stars, yet they are telling you what you will never be and how you don't measure up.

I can relate to losing the roof over your head, losing a job, losing a car or two.

I can relate to the death of a close loved one, being so low that it hurts breath.

I remember praying, crying, begging God to take my life, pleading, "Lord if you love me, please, please let me come be with you!"

I can relate to going back to college as an adult and having to work and take care of home, along with school work, and I understand feeling overwhelmed and wanting to quit.

I can relate to saying, "Lord if you… I won't do…" and doing whatever you said you would not do anyway.

I can relate to those who don't understand how much the Lord really and truly Loves them, and His grace that is sufficient enough for everyday.

I can relate to those who are angry with God because they just don't understand…

 

 

It takes time.

 

It took a long time for me to get it, and I did not get it from someone telling me about God. I got it from the WORD of God. I asked so many questions and got so many different answers until I found that there was only one answer.

That answer is Jesus! 1
John says 14:6 says He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life! The bottom line is that nothing that I have gone through in my 29 years has measured up to what Christ went through!! What He went through was for me, and if there was no one else that would believe in Him, He died just for me so that I may be redeemed! Regardless of being close to my family or not I have been adopted! If I have a father in my life or not, I have a Father who sent His Son to the cross for me! I belong! So no matter how I feel… it does not matter, Truth is truth!

Gal 4:5-6

5 so that He might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons

6 Because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, "Abba! Father!"

 

It's a love thing!

 

What kind of love is that?!?!! Love from a Savoir who calls me His friend, who sees my heart and loves me beyond my faults!

Romans 5:8

8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

 

Just as I can relate to so many things, so can my Savior! He relates to pain, He relates to being alone, He relates to my temptations, He relates to being treated poorly, He relates to you and me. Here is what Peter said about what Jesus went through…

Peter 2:21-25

²¹To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.
 ²²"He committed no sin,
      and no deceit was found in his mouth."²³When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. ²⁴He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. ²⁵For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

 

I pray that as you have read this, you have gained some insight, encouragement and understanding. Don't worry about what others have done and will do to you, or even about what you have done. God loves you anyway, so entrust yourself to Him who judges justly ok?

 

I love you! I am an extension of Him to you!

 

So If you are feeling sad and blue, you don't know what to do, you feel like you're going to fall apart, fall on your knees, left your hands to the Heavens, and with your heart, ASK THE SAVIOR TO HELP YOU! Ask Him to show you His hand in your situation. Get in the Bible, and find out who Jesus is to you, and before you read, ask God to give you understanding of what you read.

 

No matter what you face, I know that you can survive!! I know that if you want to make it, you can make it!! You are so loved!! Blessing to you from an overcomer who is still overcoming! XOXO

 

If you need prayers feel free to email me at mejoyi@gmail.com and I will petition the Heavens on your behalf!

 

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The Peace That Passes ALL Understanding!

Life can be tough sometimes, as many would agree! It is so easy to become caught up and entangled, stressed, and even depressed when we are focused on our issues. Life will shake you, there is no way to get around it, but life should never steal your peace!

There are two ways that you can live your life. You can live a life of life, or you can live a life of death! Part of it is in what you say… Proverbs 18:21- Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

You shall eat the fruit thereof…

That means your life is the result of what you say. In the midst of a storm, you can say, “I’m going to die, I won’t survive.” That statement is death. Or you can say, “Peace be still,” like Jesus said. You can speak life to your storms by not speaking what you ‘see’ physically, but what you ‘see’ with your spiritual eyes. Faith does not deny the circumstances, but faith speaks TRUTH in those storm situations. One you speak FAITH, walk in faith, which is active by love. (That’s another blog.)

When walking in faith, you don’t speak, “I don’t have a job, I’m about to lose my car, which will inhibit me from getting a job, then I’m going to lose my place, my pets will end up in shelters, and I’m going to end up on the street! I would rather die than lose everything!!”

Faith says, “Lord I realized that I lost my job. I don’t like this situation but Lord I trust you to take care of me. Lord please forgive me for anything that I did at that former place of work that was not of you. Lord forgive me for times that I knew I did not let my light shine. Now Lord, you see this situation, you know that I need another job quickly. Lord you know that I need my home and car and food, to be able to take care of my pets. So Father, I ask you to please open a door. Open a door that no man can shut. Father, don’t just give me another job, but bless me to obtain a job that I will like, in a place where I will have favor. Lord please make a way and don’t allow me to lose my things. Lord I trust you, and I believe that your plan for me is not a plan of poverty, not a plan of evil, but that your thoughts for me are of hope, to give me an expected end! Therefore I praise you now, I praise you for what I don’t see, I thank you Father for what you will do, I thank you Father that you have not and will never forsake me! Thank you Father, for you never let me down! I thank you Father for you deserve all the glory, the entire honor, and all the praise! I praise you Father for there is none like you! I praise you Father, I praise you! Hallelujah!”

You praise God in the midst of your storms because HE inhabits the praises of His people!! In speaking Faith, your situation may not be different at that moment, but you speak as though it is. You praise Him as though you have already received your break through.

It is imperative that you keep your mind clear and focused regardless of what is going on around you. If you have decided to follow Jesus, then you must stay focused on your leader if you really trust Him. Isaiah said:
You keep him in perfect peace
whose mind is stayed on you,
because he trusts in you.
—Isaiah 26:3

What we fail to realize in times of storms is that God has it all under control. He really, really does! I would not lie to you, I’ve lived this! It is hard to comprehend because most people, before their walk with Christ, and after, are accustomed to trying to solve their own problems.
A bill is due, so I work longer hours, I’ll figure something out, some way, I CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN.

This is not the way that God wants us to work. Or course He won’t do everything for us, our faith requires some action on our part, but what God does require is that we ask Him to show us how 1st! God should not be the path that we take after everything else we’ve have tried has failed.
Matthew, a man who walked closely with Jesus while He was in His earthly body said:
But first, be concerned about his kingdom and what has his approval.
Then all these things will be provided for you.
—Matthew 6:33
Be concerned about the things of God, and God will take care of your things!

What are the things of God you ask? (That’s another blog.)

So if you are going through a storm, especially in these tough economic times, look to God. You’ve got two choices, do it your way, or do it God’s way. His ways may not make since sometimes, but would it really make since to understand God in all of His infinite wisdom? Isaiah said:
8For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.
9For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
—Isaiah 55:8- 9

The TRUTH is that what you ‘see’ physically is NOT TRUTH! You can have peace in all things, but it is a choice of where you are going to focus you attention. Will you focus on your problems, or focus on God? Will you TRUST that He has your life under control once you have decided to surrender it to Him?

God has great things for you, He wants the best for you, and His thoughts of you are good, not evil. Even if you brought the situation upon yourself, God knew you would and He’s not wondering about what He can do with you now. God choose you before you were born, before you we conceived in your mother’s womb, God knew you, and He LOVES you! We all make mistakes, so understand that God’s grace is sufficient! Repent, turn and make a better decision next time. I believe in you, and Jesus loves you so much that He is constantly making intercession for you. I need you to survive! Don’t give up on God! Trust you leader, He’s not like man, He understands you! You’ve made your requests known, now watch God show up and show out in your life!

—Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I don’t know them well enough to Love… what’s the big Whoop??

 

If you're a Christian I know that you've heard that the end is near… I think that the end was near before I ever began….

 

Well, I went to the Word, this, after all, is the definitive source! I found in 1 Peter chapter 4:1, the end of all things is near… How about that! The end was near before we all began because I don't know a soul that is on the earth now that was also here when Peter was!! So, do I know how near the end is? NOPE… that's up to God…. But there is more to 1 Peter 4:1.

 

Let's break it down! What is this all about?

 

What I comprehend unmistakably is the sentence and the scriptures that occur after the end!

I know that there are so many people that think life is about them. At the end of their lives, they would take all that they had to the grave if they could. These people may or may not have a lot of friends (acquaintances), but they are truly alone. They may do things for others, but it's based on what they get out of that in turn. Everything they do has a price… big or small… This is a selfish way of living and thinking.

 

Today I would like to propose is another way of thinking. I am going to go so far with this that I may lose some of you…. But here goes…

 

Life is about what we can do for others; our experiences good and bad are to help others, even the things we learn we should teach others… Your life is not about you, but about others… in the end it's not about what you can take with you… but the impression that you have left in the Earth. I suggest that it is not about what you have but the love, it is a verb, which you gave! What have you given today? It could be a smile or compliment, or just a few moments to just listen, praying that God meets the needs of someone and for Him to show you how to meet someone else's need. For those of you who have overflow of finances, you could meet that need… Hard to believe, but what you have is not just for you!

 

There is nothing that I can offer, Joyi! That's a lie from the pits of hell! We ALL have something to offer! Even the person who has no money can pray.

How many times have I had a need and spent all my time worrying about how I could get that need met… and when all else failed, I asked God to help me. How backward was I!?!?

 

This is my approach to life; 1^st tell God what you need, ask Him to meet that need, to give you wisdom and then you let it go. In trust, you let go.

For example, you can't send your child to the baby sitters, believing that the baby sitter will take care of your seed, and then sit there and watch them. You leave you inheritance in the sitter's hands, trusting, you let go. If you never let the sitter do her job, why then would you need a sitter?

 

In the same sense, if you never let God be God in your life, why do you need Him? How could you see how great of baby sitter you have, if you never let her baby sit? How can you see how GREAT of a GOD you have if you never let Him really be your God?? Trusting Him is easier than trusting the baby sitter, for He makes no mistakes, God never fails!

 

Once you have made your need know before the Lord, then you let go, trusting that He will meet your need, and then, 2^nd pray for others!

If you don't know anyone who needs prayer, pray for those of whom you think they don't need prayer, because everyone needs prayer! Clear your mind of outside distractions and pray for others! It's a love thing!

 

Some of us say that we Love God, but don't love the evil boss that God allowed to be in your life to smooth you out like sand paper…hum??? Many of us see only what we want to see, do what we want to do, we hear a great Word, or a great quote, or read an empowering book, and we take from it what we like or is easy and toss out the rest… we like M&M's but not the brown ones because of the way that they look, although they are same on the inside as the others. Being Christ like is not easy all of the time, but it's gratifying in the end.

 

Many of us say, and I've been guilty of this myself, "I don't know them well enough to say that I love them."

Love is not about knowing anyone but God, and because we know and love Him, because we love our elder brother Jesus, we love, and every day we try to love like HE does, not the way we want to, but the way we should! This may require biting our tongue, and PRAYING for that boss instead of bad mouthing them… what a thought! Not to just say, "I'm going to take the higher road", but just do it.

The bottom line is that Peter said in the definitive source, the Bible; 1 Peter 4:8, "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. This includes the one who lied on you, the one who hurt you so bad that you never thought you would never recover, the one who you thought was really there for you, and it turned out that this was a lie… Love covers your hurt, love covers your pain. Love will help you to heal and be whole; love will help you to pray for those that hurt you. Only God works inside of you can help you to love the way that you should. You have to ask Him to show you, and if you ask Him, He will!

1 Peter 4:9-11 says: Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10 Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. 11 If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power forever and ever. Amen."

Of course we won't get this right all the time, maybe even most of the time, but as long as the sun rises again, that is God giving you another chance to try again.

The point is that the gift God has placed on the inside of us is not for us, but a gift is to share. I don't know about the tough times you all go through and experience, but a great way to deal with it is by serving others. This helps take the focus off of you. Try directing God's grace to others through your actions, like forgiving… yes even those who hurt you bad… forgiveness is for you!

In this season of Thanksgiving why not begin to try practicing doing all things as if you were serving God? Even that means boss who makes you feel bad and treats you like you can't do anything right. They are just not strong enough to fight the enemy tempting them to treat you poorly. So you pray their strength in the Lord! It's a love thang! Can you do it? I believe in you!! In the end you will have left a great impression in this Earth!

A Love revolution is beginning and we should all be a part of this new way of life!!

Morality isn’t Profitable…

Teens are being deceived and it is profitable. They are buying into what they think is "cool". As I look at this from two perspectives, I see the financial side, and it is awesome that media businesses and industries can make money. But this money is coming from the voids that teens are trying to fill by buying things. It is tragic that teens are spending time and money to be "cool" instead of taking time to figure out who they are, what they want to be in life, how they can help others in the world, and ultimately trying to find purpose in life. Instead of being a leader, many teens are followers because they have no idea of who they are.

The media used to promote wholesomeness… but now they look for the "cool kids" who set the trends, and direct marketing toward them, and their follows. It's sad, and what is really sad is that the "cool" kids are not so "cool" at all. They just have things, or rather, things have them…

As a young adult who plans to go into the marketing side of business one day, these "cool" kids are going to help make me a lot of money… fortunately and ever so unfortunately.

I was recently watching a news piece online that is interesting and this has helped me to see the other side of marketing, but it is devastating! What is the world coming too??? The "man" (the media), who I plan to work for one day, is making money off of teen sex and negative energy. The point I am hearing is that teens are going to do it anyway so let us put it on television and seemly condone it so that teens feel it's OK. This way, they watch the movie, follow the TV show, buy the rough characters merchandise, along with the products that those characters or actors promote.

In my day, TV shows like The Cosby Show and Family Matters were popular. I could not wait for TGIF to come on Friday night where I could watch good wholesome television that did confront issues that teens deal with like sex, drugs, and drinking, and those shows did not condone it, they spoke against it. This type of media programming encouraged me because I saw beautiful Laura Winslow who said no and was not having sex and doing drugs. And now I guess is OK to just go with the flow rather than to try and have a positive media view, regardless of what the teens are doing?! I guess now the teens rule and the media follows. The teens are the authoritarian now?? Teens know what's best? Or is it even about what is best for our youth anymore? NOPE!

Yes, the teens know what's best, they know what's best to make money off of them… is distressing. Did I miss something? Come on American media!! What happened to encouragement to do right, even when others were doing wrong? It was there when I was a child and there is nothing new under the sun. Wrong is still wrong when everyone is doing it?? Why not market to those that want to do right? Why not help those who are not being followers of the "cool kids" and make their saying no to sex and drugs "cool"? Yes there is some good programming out there, but why is that not popular programming? The media is going along with the teens, not realizing that they have the power to help because teens are going to watch TV. Maybe if they were not bombarded with images they should not see… What happened to morality, and is everything subject??

It's now more popular to produce a show like Dawson's Creek, which I watched in my early 20's, with teens having sex with teachers and each other, than to try and put something out there that promotes morality. I guess morality just doesn't bring in enough cash. Am I the only one who feels this way?

Relationships Need Balance!

So I'm not perfect...thinking that I may be having incorrect (maybe mean) thought process… yet it feels so right!
It's like this, when people are in your life (outside of social network sites), they should keep in contact. If I am the only one holding on to the relationship, then that’s a problem (for me). So until I find that I am wrong, those relationships that are one sided no longer exist.
There has to be balance. I do for you, you do for me, I think of you, you think of me, I call you, and sometimes (at least), you call me… It seems fair and not one sided.
I know that I am loved. I am grateful for those that I am connected too, like my good friend Dawn, who I see physically, talk to on the phone, email and communicate via a social network site. I am also grateful for those that I am not able to see, but I am able to keep in contact via social network sites!
Those that know me know that I don't have a big family, but God is so awesome that He is restoring my family, and we are going from glory to glory!
With that being said, those who know me also know that I can have issues when it comes to family and friends because I have been abandoned as a child (another blog posting)… I’ve seem to have gone from one extreme to another… wanting people around and then, not so much… then being angry when no one was around…it’s my bend... everyone has one...! So....
I used to be around some people because an old mentor thought I should, but I was not celebrated among those people, I was tolerated. We had nothing in common except our love for Jesus. We fit perfectly together for Kingdom business, not socially. So when the mentor relationship ended with my past mentor, the relationship with that group did too… for the most part… there are some that I keep in contact with and they also keep in contact with me. We mostly keep in contact via a social network site.
But there are some that are not so computer savvy… and some that changed their numbers and never told me until there was an emergency and I realized the number was disconnected (that’s another blog).
This one person in particular said to me, "God is not through with us", and so I believed it. But when (I) email, 80% of the time I get a reply… but the funny thing is… I never get an email unless I send one… I don’t have another way to connect… so if “we’ll always be connected”, then in what way? I guess it’s just a connection in the spirit….
I feel like, don't say, “We will always be connected", when I am they only one trying to keep the connection! Maybe I’m wrong… but it just feels right… but sometimes, lots of times… my feelings lie… but until I find another truth, I’m sticking to my guns!
I'll never be rude, but I am done setting myself up to get hurt by continuing to try to connect with those that have showed by their actions (love is a verb) that they don't want to be in my life. My door is always open, but I refused to pull someone in. God celebrates me, He has placed His purpose on the inside of me, and I've got work to do! No more time to think on what could or should have been! The bottom line is that relationships need balance. I trust God to place authentic people in my life!
How about you?