Sounding OFF!

Ok so I really understand that everyone has different love languages. So when you learn someone else’s love language, why keep expressing “love” to them in your own personal love language instead of using their language? What I’m saying is, if I have a friend who speaks Spanish and then I learn to speak Spanish, why continue to speak English to them?

There are five love languages that I know of, they are, words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. I fall into words of affirmation and receiving gifts as I love to encourage, give and receive gifts. Quality time is a half and half for me because that is not needed much, but is wanted sometimes… I can live without it though.

What I want to understand is: when people get to know me and claim to love me, when there is no mistake of the type of person I am, why speak to me in acts of service or physical touch? Is that my language? NO! Physical touch is a big no no for me, but when I express love to people who’s love language is physical touch, guess what??? I hug them, even when I don’t like it! Maybe I am the only one who can step out side of myself for others…

We are commissioned to love. Some people we love deeply, others we love neutral, like I don’t know you, but I’ll pray for you, I wish you no harm but that you love the Lord with all your soul mind and strength… hum…

So there is someone that I really love and I really thought that this person loved me back, and no, it was not a boy girl thing, but a mentor / men tee thing… This person was one of the first people to teach me about the love languages. This person knows my love language very well… yet while I was going through a very understandably tough time in my life, and simultaneously expressing my love to them via acts of service, (their love language), I hit a wall in the middle of the road that was breaking me… and then nothing… mentor dropped me like a bad habit! What did I do? I am guilty of continuing to try when I was losing the battle… so I gave up.

So know this mentor is going though some tough times and sending emailed prayer requests for her and family all the time, and I pray… maybe not the way I should, but I do… I can’t pray the way that I want to because I’m so dang on bitter!! I try to drop it move forward, do the Christ like thing… it’s so difficult!! My flesh wants to kick her to the curb and hurt her during her tough time, just like she hurt me in the mist of my tough time! My flesh is not winning this battle, but I am constantly reminded of how much more sensitive people are when they are going through a tough patch in life as opposed to when everything is fine. If I really wanted to get back at this mentor, this would be the perfect time! My acts of service and gift giving has come to a screeching halt with this person. I am holding out and believing that when this storm of hers is over, and she is in her right mind, then, hopefully, please Lord! Then she will make it right! Replacing me is not possible, there will never be another real on like me!!!

If you know my language then speak it! I can not decipher this other crap at all! I speak English not Japanese! If you love me, say it in a language I understand, for this road block has caused me to enclose myself in my cocoon of safety and leaves no room for any other humans… Is there healing for the tragically wounded heart?